i wish i was born in a country with a better entertainment scene, so that i could throw myself mindlessly into being a performer. let it consume me entirely. let each day be tiring, painful and yet full of satisfaction..

i didn't think i would have lasted this long without this sense of dissatisfaction really. i grumbled alot at the start, and yet i honestly did enjoy my time.

but the more i see of people, the more my days get consumed by work, the more cynical it all feels.. the more i dislike singapore and all it has come to be to me. i miss the freedom of london, the idealism of new york, the beauty of japan, the humanity in korea. all of those countries have something that i really want. and quite honestly, i'll gladly take any one out of the four than to have nothing at all..

but yet at the same time, i feel lost. with no real burning passion, or perhaps with passion but no where to go, i feel like i'm losing abit of myself each day.